Excerpt of "We Could Fill A River" by Douglas Walbourne-Gough

 

The Wolastoq flows below me. Spring

ice is receding, this year’s first blue herons

bring sun. They call me outside to warm my

snow-weary bones. I’ve crossed this bridge

often, stopped to watch people fish, couldn’t

resist comparing this river to the rum-brown

water of the Humber I’ve never fished

but grew up convinced I’d drown in.

 

I’d watched The Country, broke down

with bucking shoulders, my body taking

the pain as I realized how deep the mistrust

went. Began to understand how a story could

make me feel unwelcome in my own hometown.

 

I needed to see Qalipu through both eyes.

One fixed on my own experience, the other

with openness to five decades of Flat Bay’s

pain. Of Stephenville’s and the Crossing’s,

of St. George’s and Shallop Cove’s pain.

The more I saw, the more room I made

for truths other than mine. A good first step,

but far from any real knowledge. I had to

call you, no matter how scared I was

of breaking protocol with my ignorance.

 

Two years after I watched The Country,

I crossed that bridge. Drew in a deep breath.

I’d had your number for a few days, afraid

to call, to admit that I had no idea who I was,

ashamed of my lack of blood quantum, being

adopted, that I couldn’t yet speak Mi’kmaq.

That we could fill a river with all I didn’t know.

 

I’d never spoken with an Elder before, but

it wasn’t long before our laughter dissolved

my anxiety and you reminded me — you’re one

of thousands on the island going through this.

Community I’d sought but couldn’t see. I walked

back across the bridge. The adage of never stepping

in the same river twice crossed my mind, but I knew

the Wolastoq hadn’t changed. Land never needs to.

The work was always mine to do.

 

is a poet and mixed/adopted Mi’kmaq from Elmastukwek (Bay of Islands), Ktaqmkuk (Newfoundland). His first collection, Crow Gulch, was published with Goose Lane in 2019. His second collection, Island, centres around the Newfoundland Mi’kmaq experience and the Qalipu enrolment process. Island is forthcoming, also from Goose Lane.